Going from one youngster to 2 is a giant change! And it’s not simply mother and father who have to prepare — your firstborn does too.
As a social employee and a mother, I wished to assist my daughter alter to being a giant sister. Listed here are some ideas that labored for our household:
BEFORE THE BABY ARRIVES
- Contain your youngster early
The earlier you contain your youngster in making ready for a brand new sibling, the higher! This can give her extra time to regulate. Enable her to ask questions. Relying upon her age, let her select objects for the nursery or go to physician’s appointments. - Use easy and repetitive language
Name your youngster a giant sister or brother. Level to the infant in your stomach. Let him speak to the infant if he desires to. - Allow them to really feel their feelings
The anticipation of a brand new sibling can result in numerous totally different emotions! Enable her to really feel all of them, even when it’s not pleasure. You’ll be able to proceed to point out your delight though she might not really feel that simply but. She could also be feeling concern, anger or frustration. - Spend one-on-one time collectively
Goal for every father or mother to spend high quality one-on-one time with the older sibling every day. And attempt to proceed this even after the infant arrives. Simply 10-Quarter-hour every day can assist her really feel reassured. This needs to be enjoyable and particular time to attach — not a time to show ABCs. - Use books and dolls
Books generally is a useful gizmo to assist him perceive what to anticipate, how one can share, and potential feelings he’ll really feel. One instance is “I Am a Huge Sister” or “I Am a Huge Brother” by Caroline Jayne Church. Having a child doll can assist him observe issues like feeding and altering diapers. - Make a countdown
Counting down the times helped my daughter perceive when the infant would arrive. It additionally helped construct pleasure. As we acquired nearer, we took her for a enjoyable household outing. There we defined that she would go to together with her grandma and grandpa whereas we’re within the hospital with the infant.
AFTER BABY ARRIVES
- Count on regressive behaviors
Regressive behaviors are probably after a significant life change! In different phrases, your youngster might return to a conduct he’s already outgrown. This might embody having potty accidents or wanting a pacifier after beforehand giving it up. I like to recommend not being reactionary or calling consideration to it. As an alternative, encourage good behaviors with labeled reward and incorporate extra high quality time collectively. - Hold routines the identical
A brand new sibling is a large enough change! Attempt to keep away from every other main transitions for 8-12 weeks after the infant is born. For instance, in case your older youngster continues to be in a crib, wait earlier than switching to a giant child’s mattress. - Handle expectations aloud
You’ll be able to assist set the tone and handle expectations for each siblings by verbalizing them aloud — even when the infant can’t perceive these phrases but. For example, if the infant is crying whereas I’m making lunch for my daughter, I don’t drop all the things instantly. I’ll say, “One minute, I want to complete lunch after which I’ll choose you up.” It helps my older daughter perceive that I’ll nonetheless meet her wants, too. And generally I put her first. - Allow them to assist (if they need)
In case your youngster desires to assist with the infant, let him! It could encourage bonding. That mentioned, keep away from forcing it or exhibiting unfavorable emotions if he’s not . Giving particular reward for when he’s serving to and exhibiting kindness towards the infant will assist to encourage extra of that fascinating conduct.